lucas art tomorrow at college

i'm a nervous wreck.

i was told on last wednessday that lucas art/film (dunno which one) will be coming on monday to give a talk on the industry AND probably interview us. I was told some of us will be given a golden 10 minutes to meet up with lucas ppl, show them my amateurish reel and i dunno what else. probably interview. but... i'm so not ready. i'm nervous as hell. i'm not confident with my work one bit, i know my work is okay, but there are alot of okay work out there probably 5 billion of them, what makes me super special? not much i' m afraid.

i'm guessing they're here to hire probably intern. and i'm thinking they might be touring malaysian colleges/uni to pick some of the best students to intern with them. what chances of me getting in?? i just started doing 3d animation seriously like 1 month ago (excluding the 2-3 times i tried playing with 3d animation in the past on my own), and i'm regretting the fact that i didnt study/or try animation properly. instead i wasted my time doing renders, texturing modeling and such. not necessary. if i'm aiming for animator. even if i dont, when i look at my reel a bulk of it is animation. and not all of them are good. i had to include some pretty below average animation due to the lack of it.

i'm regretting the time i procrastinate. have to work harder. even if i don't get in, it'll be interesting to see what the lucas guys say about my work. i really do hope they give advice and comments on what to improve as oppose to playing mr. nice employers and say we'll contact you later with a smile. then it'll be a waste of time me rushing to complete a reel and animations.

i know i still have lots to work on, on my timing. it's not easy. i've tried. it just aint easy. i have the animation in my head, but it didnt pop out the way i want it. its incredibly frustrating. i'm not mining for sympathy from them. my heart says yes i want to get in lucas so much that it hurts (it's not everyday u get such opportunity) my head says no you wont get in cause you know you're not THAT good yet. i cant be optmistic about this but i hope my pessimism won't affect their level of judgement. =/

its so fun to have my own blog to rant about work.

some people just have all the talent in the world, and it seems so effortless for them. sometimes i wonder if regardless of how much you try, killing your social life away, will u ever get as good as those talented people? it's worth trying. i guess. this is where my passion lies. but self doubt sometimes gobble me up, i felt vulnerable and weak, and at times, just want to throw it all away.

i just want to produce a good animation and story.

hopefully someday i'll reach over the rainbow... and get my share of gold from the legendary pot.
mkay i've belted out my thoughts. i'm crossing fingers for tomorrow. miracles.. will they come?


cheers
jacko